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How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You: The Ultimate Guide

Jese Leos
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Published in How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You (The Oatmeal 2)
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Cats are often misunderstood creatures. They can be aloof, independent, and even downright mysterious. But what if your cat is actually plotting to kill you?

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal 2)
How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal Book 2)
by The Oatmeal

4.5 out of 5

Language : English
File size : 124837 KB
Print length : 136 pages
Screen Reader : Supported

This fun and informative book will help you identify the signs that your cat may be planning your demise. From subtle hints to overt threats, you'll learn everything you need to know to stay one step ahead of your feline assassin.

Chapter 1: The Telltale Signs

The first step to protecting yourself from a murderous cat is to be aware of the telltale signs. These can include:

  • Dilated pupils: When a cat's pupils are dilated, it can be a sign of aggression or fear. If your cat's pupils are dilated when you're around, it's best to give them some space.
  • Hissing: Hissing is a universal sign of aggression in cats. If your cat hisses at you, it's a clear warning that they're not happy and may be about to attack.
  • Growling: Growling is another sign of aggression in cats. If your cat growls at you, it's important to back away and give them some space.
  • Tail twitching: A twitching tail can be a sign of anxiety or aggression. If your cat's tail is twitching, it's best to avoid interacting with them.
  • Ears back: When a cat's ears are back, it can be a sign of fear or aggression. If your cat's ears are back when you're around, it's best to give them some space.

Chapter 2: The Motives

Once you're aware of the telltale signs, you need to try to understand what might be motivating your cat to plot against you. Some of the most common motives include:

  • Jealousy: Cats can be very jealous creatures. If you've recently brought a new pet into the home, your cat may feel threatened and lash out.
  • Hunger: A hungry cat is a dangerous cat. If your cat is not getting enough to eat, they may start to see you as a potential food source.
  • Boredom: Bored cats are more likely to get into trouble. If your cat is not getting enough mental and physical stimulation, they may start to act out.
  • Pain: A cat in pain may lash out in self-defense. If your cat is showing signs of pain, it's important to take them to the vet right away.

Chapter 3: The Prevention

Now that you know the signs and motives, you can take steps to prevent your cat from plotting to kill you. Some of the most effective prevention tips include:

  • Spend time with your cat: The best way to bond with your cat and prevent them from feeling jealous or neglected is to spend time with them every day. Play with them, brush them, and talk to them. Let them know that you love and care for them.
  • Feed your cat regularly: A hungry cat is more likely to be aggressive. Make sure to feed your cat a healthy diet and at regular intervals.
  • Provide your cat with plenty of mental and physical stimulation: A bored cat is more likely to get into trouble. Make sure to provide your cat with plenty of toys, scratching posts, and other enrichment activities.
  • Take your cat to the vet regularly: A cat in pain may lash out in self-defense. If your cat is showing signs of pain, it's important to take them to the vet right away.

By following these tips, you can help to prevent your cat from plotting to kill you. However, it's important to remember that cats are individuals, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. If you're concerned about your cat's behavior, it's always best to consult with a veterinarian or animal behaviorist.

So, there you have it. Now you know how to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you. Just kidding! But seriously, by following these tips, you can help to keep your cat happy and healthy.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal 2)
How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal Book 2)
by The Oatmeal

4.5 out of 5

Language : English
File size : 124837 KB
Print length : 136 pages
Screen Reader : Supported
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The book was found!
How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal 2)
How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal Book 2)
by The Oatmeal

4.5 out of 5

Language : English
File size : 124837 KB
Print length : 136 pages
Screen Reader : Supported
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